Dear Expensive SUV driving 40-something professional male in the grocery store parking lot

Dear Expensive SUV driving 40-something professional male in the grocery store parking lot,

First off, lets be clear.  When I leisurely pulled into the parking lot, I never intended to steal 'your' spot.  I did not even notice 'your' spot that was 10 feet from the door until you nearly rammed me into it with your turn signal on (I was going straight, you were turning left.  I had the right of way).  I never showed any intention of turning into it, so calm your big bad self in your expensive SUV that is worth more than our 2 vehicles combined...times 5.  Generally, I do not even look for close spots, the exercise is good for everyone and I don't want anyone to give my 1995 sedan any door dings (they rust). 

The only reason I was trying to find a decent spot today is because it is snot freezing cold out and I have a sick toddler with an ear infection whose mittens I forgot.  Don't judge me for going to the grocery store, sir.  We needed to pick up his prescription and something he will eat.

I understand you are a professional and must be in a major hurry to pick up a few items.  At least I thought so until I managed to park about a mile out, get a cart, load it up with popcans, put a screaming squirming toddler in it, and walk past your SUV while you are still sitting in it talking on your cell phone.  I'm sure it was an important call.  By the time I get inside the toddler is screaming that his hands hurt (and they should hurt, they are FROZEN).  I return my popcans and get ready to get our items when I realize I left my glasses in the freezing cold car.  I cannot see without my glasses, so we must venture out.

We RUN past your SUV (which is still running and polluting the air we all breathe) towards my car in the tundra.  I do not have a keyless entry like you (a luxary that gave out a few months back), I am fumbling with frozen hands on my keys (that are metal and so cold my skin threatens to adhere to them) with my frozen toddler in the cart screaming and crying (his tears are freezing!!) about his now stiff hands (my fault for forgetting the mittens) trying to get the creaky rusted door open (please don't fall off, please don't fall off).  I find my glasses (to which the toddler replies "Hooray!") and we run the mile back through the frozen tundra past your still running frozen car while you sit on your cell phone in the spot that you almost ran me off the road for that I didn't even try and take. 

Get the prescription (love that it was free!).  We get our shopping done relatively quickly- about 35 mins.  Toddlers hands unfreeze about 1/2 way through and cost me a guilt toy Tow Mater ($3.50).  Somehow (it is a miracle from God) we manage to stay within our means by $1.29 and still get all we need.  Toddler rides the horse, worth the 52 cents a year it costs to keep him happy for shopping.  We bundle up again to face the arctic.  As I run the mile back to my car I notice you are still sitting in your spot, on your cell phone with your engine running.  You have not even left your vehicle.  I could have had that spot, got my shopping done, and left and then you could have had it.  Instead you insist on hogging a decent spot on a cold day so you can pollute and talk on the phone.  Honestly.  You are a middle aged professional man with no children with you and a nice warm wool jacket with matching leather gloves, could you think beyond yourself for 2 seconds?  I saw seniors pushing carts (much too heavy for them) through the freezing cold (they have thin skin!!!) on the ice (hello broken hip) while you sat and chatted.  I did not want 'your' spot, but someone else out there needed it much more than you did.

Thankfully after running 4 miles in the frozen tundra I didn't have a low, which I have you to thank.  You managed to frusterate and anger me enough that it raised my BG to compensate for the otherwise inevitable low. 

So, I must say thank-you.

Thank-you,
The woman with the stiffly frozen sickly ear infected toddler carrying the Tow Mater in the old car that you tried to plow over monster truck style