A friend called yesterday and asked "How's it going?".
I know this is a question that people ask all the time. I ask it all the time. It's a conversation starter. It's the 'my toddler is napping too and we haven't talked since the last time they napped at the same time so lets talk about the new important stuff first and quickly because who knows how long toddler wants to sleep today" question. The trouble with that question is how to answer it. I have such a hard time answering. 3 things run through my head.
1. How close are we?
2. Does she really want the truth?
3. How much time do we have to talk before toddler wakes up?
Since you are reading this I am assuming you are expecting toddler to nap for awhile and are ready for an ear full.
Let me tell you about yesterday. After saving about 15 'free class' coupons for gymboree, the toddler and I signed up to go. We were very excited for this experience. The nearest gymboree is 26 minutes away according to the overstock.com gps in my car. With gas at $3.17 a gallon, well, this class is no longer free, but it will be fun.
We manage to get ready on time and are out the door by 9:45, the class starts at 10:30. Make a Bigby (why can't it still be Beaners again?) run (responsible diabetic comes back from vacation tomorrow) with a gift card from one of hubby's students. A side note, if your kid has a male teacher and you want to get him something nice but don't know what, get something for his wife. Gift card for a place with curbside to go, coffee, whatever. Happy wife = happy life. Just saying.
Bigby run done and we are on our way. Toddler is mimicking the gps's instructions for me. He is very helpful. Suddenly he says "Weady (ready) mommy?". Oh no, he has a ball and knows how to use it. We have been working on asking someone if they are ready to catch a ball. I am driving down the highway, in traffic, sipping a skinny caffineted carmely drink, with an armed and 'weady' toddler in the back. "No!!! We don't throw balls in the car." Please oh please listen this one time.
He listened. Crisis avoided. Thank-you!!! It's gonna be a good day. Or not.
10:29 we pull into the parking lot of the would be gymboree that is not there. "You have arrived!" announces the gps in the annoying lady voice. "Mommy get out" toddler yells pulling at the car seat straps. Where is this place?
I call the number (which I thankfully wrote down) and am told they moved over a year ago, but since I always recycle the new phones books because I am too lazy to replace the old one and recycle the new one I missed the memo on this. The SUPER nice lady gives me perfect directions and says class is running a few minutes late anyway, we can still make it. YAY!
Gymboree is a padded room full of super safe kid toys that toddler falls in love with. I learn at the end of class, that gymboree is also pricey. In my head I am hearing hubby "If you really think you want to sign up, but I don't think we need to spend the money on it." I am also hearing my mom "You are too busy, your calendar is overbooked, you need time to relax with toddler". Ok, so this adds something to the calendar, but it has been quite some time since toddler and I have had this much playing and imaginating. I sign up.
Driving home I get to thinking. Hubby's car needs new brakes and probably new rotars. Why did I sign up? This is not good timing. Toddler loves it. I love it. Hubby will be mad. Have I made an impulse buy? Was I overcome by the bubbles that don't pop and parachute games? Maybe it was how she sang the itsy bitsy spider to toddler as he climbed the ropes. Ack. Well, too late now. It's gonna be fun quality time.
As I am driving I am smelling gas. It must be the car in front of me. You know, the nice SUV that's about 15 years newer than my car. I change lanes, I don't want to blow up because THEIR car is leaking gas. Funny, this car smells gasy too. Could it be my car? Hmmm....no. Just ignore it, it will go away. Cause that works well with everything.
I work at a pet grooming salon, and I have to make a quick stop on the way home to check some messages, etc. Toddler and I make a 'quick' (45 min) stop at work. 16 messages, a hair covered and shoeless toddler later, we are ready to go. He enjoyed the visit though, he pretended to cut dog toe nails with a can opener. Looks like he's going to take after me- loves animals and imaginative (aka not too bright).
So I pick up my now hairy wet dog smelling child and load him into the car. Boy, this place smells like gas. It must be that cheap car over there. MY car is in perfect working order. It couldn't be my car.
Get the kid to nap and pay some bills. Go to run out to the mail box and smell a LOT of gas. And there is a puddle under my car. Not that uncommon (our garage is a wetland remember), but the rest of the garage is dry. Slowly the puzzle starts coming together. That puddle is gas coming from MY car. Huh. HUH?! Oh no, I have done gas tank repairs before and I know 2 things about them. 1. They usually costs you a tank of gas too. I paid like $3.17 a gallon for that tank 2 days ago for 1/8 of it to coat our swampy garage floor. 2. They are EXPENSIVE. But hubby needs brakes...and I just paid bills...and we had a blizzard so I didn't work much....and GYMBOREE!!!
This is bad, this is very very bad. For a moment I consider packing the kid and dog up and putting everything of value in the front yard and suddenly taking up smoking. Nah, too obvious. JUST KIDDING Justin (my insurance guy who sometimes reads this)!!! My father's voice is running through my mind "You know honey, that car isn't going to run forever. At some point you have to decide what you're going to do. You really should get a NEW car, the NEW car prices are pretty good now." To which the voice in my head replies "But you say to pay cash for everything dad. They don't sell new cars for what I can sell my 16 yr old no air conditioning rusting now leaking gas car for." Now what?
My mind is racing with what-if's and bad news. People say bad news comes in 3's. We are at like 67 in the last week. And I try to be the silver lining person. For every 'bad' thing I force myself to think of 2 blessings to thank God for. No matter how you look at though, 67 is a lot.
As I am processing all the bad things my thoughts turn to my blood sugar. Bad things? Diabetes is bad. Speaking of which, better test the BG. While I'm at it, lets call and see what those HemA1C results are. Make a good ol' day outta it. Maybe I can still get in for a pelvic too! Oh no, I can't drive my soon out of gas car. Drat!
You need to know something about my A1C. An A1C is a percent that corresponds with your average blood sugar over the last 3 months. Basically it's the way your body tattles on you to your doctor. Anything under 7% for a T1 is 'acceptable'. If one were to try to become pregnant, it might be recommended to stay under 6%. I am a 'young' diabetic and I live, eat and breathe diabetes. My highest A1C was 5.8% and that was when they had me diagnosed as a T2 diabetic on a long acting insulin when I was pregnant. Since that time they have only gone down. My previous A1C was actually in the 'non diabetic' range (though it was achieved with an insulin pump, so settle down mom, I do have diabetes. She loves it when I talk about her. Ha!) I was very excited about that number, but also a bit nervous about it. I knew I shouldn't go any lower because I was getting a lot of hypos and it would be unsafe. I actually told the doc it was a 'fake' A1C because I was having a LOT of hypos and going up and down all the time is worse than remaining steady at a higher BG.
So, I call the office. Whatever, I'm upset already, might as well just destroy the day altogether.
WHAT?!?! Are you sure? That is amazing. I haven't been having many hypos. That is not a fake A1C. That's for real. I start giggling after I hang up the phone. All that hard work 20 days out of the month (remember, I am a screw up when I have my period and am not ovulating). I am geeked.
At the same time I am a little sad. It was always motivation to keep down my A1C, to keep getting better. When I decided to lay off a bit it was hard to keep going. I am burnt out, but I felt like I just didn't want to try anymore without the competition.
My new goal is to return to my previous 'non-diabetic' A1C without hypos. That will give me incentive to not quit 10 days a month and to keep working hard.
Like I said, I hate that question "How's it going?"
After thinking about it a bit..."Pits and giggles."