So, it's been a LONG while since my last blog. I love blogging, just don't have the time these days. Today, I am making time. Well, and both kiddos are asleep at the same time.
Woke up this morning to another beautiful day. The birds were singing God's praises already at 6:30 AM. The sun was peeking through the blinds promising a splendid day. When I let the dog outside, it wasn't even the least bit chilly (which was great because I was in my robe with only undies and a nursing bra underneath because of the late night spit-up that covered my PJ's compliments of Ollie). Even the breeze was warm. Like I said, beautiful.
Each week we have been attending this playgroup on Monday's. Today, it was decided we weren't going to go. Even after all the excitement last nite about the farm theme group today, the sunshine trumped it the moment Rohen saw it.
"Momma, who is coming over today." A common theme at our house. I had no plans other than playgroup which was now nixed, and a possible exciting trip to Meijer's for lettuce (to help balance out the massive amounts of Costco cake I've been eating). Rather than playing the guessing game, I just asked him who he wanted to play with. He choose a friend to play with and thankfully they were available to go to the park on this perfect morning.
We take our time getting ready, a nice change to the regular "Hurry up, hurry up! We can brush your teeth tomorrow!". As I was dry shaving my knees (I had no idea the hair there was THAT outta control!) I asked Rohen (3 1/2 yrs) to pick out a hat. He has multiple sun hats, a few baseball hats and one fedora. He chooses the fedora which proves to be quite the fashion statement when combined with his cut off sweat pants and 2nd hand (THANKS Courtney!!!) "Speed Demon" shirt. Whatever, he loves the hat, so what if he has no fashion sense. After slathering on some sunscreen (Rodan & Fields does NOT irritate his eczema- hooray!), we grab Ollie and head out the door.
In the car Rohen puts on his Lightning McQueen Pit Crew sunglasses which completes his ensemble if his goal was to look like he got dressed in the dark. Quite the sight, but still adorable.
Now, I have to pause here. Most of you know Rohen. Literally, he is sunshine. The sweetest, kindest 3 1/2 year old boy you will ever meet. He won't watch "Rio" because it's too sad that they birds are taken from their home. Sweet, kind, happy, loving. These are what come to mind when I think of Rohen. Looks, he is an average sized toddler boy. Blonde hair, bright blue eyes. At his 3 year appointment he was 50th percentile for height and weight. He is extremely active and sports some pretty intense chicken legs. He does have my cheeks aka a wide Dutch face. They aren't anything remarkable mind you, you wouldn't look at them and think "look at those cheeks!!!"...average.
We meet our friends and play for awhile having lots of fun. They head out for lunch and we decide to stay for awhile longer. Rohen is running around like a maniac and Ollie (4 months) is watching him longingly. I am trying to keep Ollie in the shade, but can still see Rohen and 99% of the time hear every word he is saying.
After making several attempts, Rohen has joined in the fun of a group of boys there for a birthday party. One of the boys who looks slightly older than Rohen...maybe 4 1/2 yrs...comes up to Rohen and starts to take off his sunglasses. I am watching curiously, not sure what is going on, but wanting to make sure his glasses don't get lost or broken. As he is taking them off, I hear him say "I want to see your face." Rohen just stands there and I hear him say "Ok" in his cute little kid voice.
This is where it happens. This is where the little boy nearly meets his end. This is where the little boy and his mother (Or was his father there? No one would no because they were NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!) nearly got the smack down.
The little boy gets Rohen's sunglasses off and looks at him in the eye and says....
"You are chubby. I don't play with chubby kids."
Puts Rohen's glasses back, see's me giving him the death glare of a Momma Bear defending her cub while menacing toward him, and gets out of there like the cowardice bully he is.
Rohen stays standing there, seemingly oblivious to what has happened. The other kids of the birthday party he tried so hard to join, are still around him, although beginning to scatter in their play.
"Momma, what does chubby mean? That boy said I am chubby. What does that mean?" This isn't the question of a boy who knows he has been insulted. This is the question of a naive little boy who doesn't even realize that the boy is not his friend. And I don't know what breaks my heart more. The fact that the little boy said such a thing about my sunshine, or the fact that my sunshine still loves that little boy and wants to play with him desperately.
"Well buddy, chubby means that you have Mommy's face. We have nice Dutch faces that make our smiles extra big so they can make even more people happy than anyone else's smile can." I give him a hug and we go to another area of the park.
Rohen continues to make friends with other girls and boys, all of which are sweet and kind. They play pirate ship and everything else little kids like to do at big play structures. Ollie and I are on the lookout for 'the boy' and can never seem to pinpoint who his guardian is. I don't know why I was looking for them anyway. I wasn't going to speak to the mother or father. I guess I just wanted to see him/her.
It's been a few hours, and Rohen has long since forgotten it all. I am still a bit upset at 'the boy' and his lack of parent. I feel sad for 'the boy'. Sad that maybe he comes from a place that he hears this type of attitude often validated, and sad that no one was there to correct his behavior. Sad that maybe he has insecurities himself. But mostly sad for Rohen, and sad for 'the boy' who never got the chance to play with my sunshine. Because that's what he is, sunshine personified.